Slow Horses Season Premiere Review: Who The F*** Is That?

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Throughout history, epically disillusioned leaders lurked in the shadows of international espionage, beaten down by circumstance and staring at the world from the bottom of a pit of despair.

At the same time, anti-heroes rose from the ashes of good intentions, wielding a sword of righteousness as they rewrote the rulebook in the interests of justice.

And then there’s Jackson Lamb.

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Slow Horses “Circle of Life”

It’s hard to imagine that Jackson Lamb ever had illusions to be stripped of. As the head of Slough House, he’s in charge of the MI5 agents who are too dangerous to fire and too visible to kill.

The list of things Jackson Lamb doesn’t bother with is immeasurable—manners, hygiene, sentiment, a healthy diet, personal boundaries, and friends.

What Jackson Lamb relies on is simple. The work. And instinct.

So when ex-Slough House agents start turning up dead on Slow Horses Season 6 Episode 1, “Circle of Life,” you can bet his tingly bits get excited. (And just try to get THAT image out of your head now, friends.)

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

But even before that, things were going more sideways than usual.

A payroll cock-up is one thing, but sending an estate agent into an MI5 office full of impulsive, borderline psychotic agents is a whole other sort of incompetence.

Something smells off and, for once, it’s not just Jackson Lamb.

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But, Seriously, Who Was He?

The season opens with Struan Loy living his depressing post-Securities-Service life. As a quick refresher, we met Loy on Slow Horses Season 1.

He ended up at Slough House after he made fun of then-First-Desk Tearney’s outfit at a press conference by sending an email about the head of MI5 working for ISIS.

So, not the brightest bulb in the box by far. The running joke was that he couldn’t sell water in the desert. Or upsell raffle tickets to Catherine.

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

So him pushing shipping-container condos to everyone he meets is exactly on brand.

But what happens when two people actually show interest? How long does it take him to realize they’re not genuine investors?

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There’s a reason Lamb kicked him out of Slough House. Well, that was because he was informing on them to Taverner. But even so, Loy’s got the spy instincts of a lemming.

“In a field of spectacular underachievers, he really did stand out as being entirely without f**king use.” — Jackson Lamb regarding Struan Loy

And thus begins the hunting of Slough House.

Wait, Why Do They Look So Familiar?

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Slow Horses has become such a phenomenon that it’s beginning to have the Doctor Who Casting Effect (also known as the Law & Order Casting Effect in the US), where everyone’s appeared on the show at some point.

Our nameless-for-now, hyper-efficient, rather judgmental assassin team is hardly the duo to believably blend into the crowd IRL.

The woman is MyAnna Buring, best known as Tissaia on Netflix‘s The Witcher, while her partner, Kyle Soller, played a long-ago and far-away version of Struan Loy, Andor‘s Syril Karn.

While their endgame is still unclear, the couple takes no breaks. Their business is clearly their pleasure, with a workmate synergy that would be a delight if it wasn’t so brutally horrible.

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Cry Me A River

Ah, River. Poor sod.

His grandfather’s passing isn’t just the end of an era for those who know; it’s the final curtain on River’s sense of family.

David Cartwright might’ve been a sad shadow of the spymaster he once was at the end of his life. Still, he genuinely cared for River, raising him in his absentee daughter’s stead, away from the criminal influence of River’s biological father.

But as much as life isn’t easy, River does tend to choose the hardest path at every opportunity.

Refusing bereavement leave just so he can mouth off to First Desk, which she writes off as “grief, exhaustion, and immaturity.”

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Chickens Home To Roost

Slow Horses Season 6 looks to resurrect an impressive number of ghosts.

On the season premiere alone, they turn up (then immolate) Struan Loy, remind us that people like Peter Judd are the proverbial bad penny, and have Frank Harkness crash David Cartwright’s funeral.

Not only that, but Taverner deflects Lamb’s graveside confrontation about Slough House being scrubbed from the Park’s database by expertly lobbing the bombshell revelation that he murdered Charles Partner, blowing up Catherine’s world.

For those with an eidetic memory, Taverner hinted at this in a voicemail Catherine overheard on Slow Horses Season 1 Episode 4, “Visiting Hours,” but Lamb dodged that bullet back then.

Finally, the first-look images for the season focus heavily on Sid Baker’s return, which will clearly blow River’s mind, since he thinks she’s dead and that he directly caused it.

Again. Poor sod.

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Just Here For The Sausage Rolls

Caught up in all the administrative machinations and not yet aware of the assassins gunning for them, I feel bad for the Slow Horses—NOT YOU, HO—who just want their paycheck.

Without a doubt, Coe’s my favorite Slow Horse, although I’d never want to get stuck in a lift with him. And Shirley’s a close second, purely for throwing that dart at Ho.

“Circle of Life” sets a lot of wheels spinning. There are killers on the loose, and they’re not even related to River this time.

Although it isn’t the highest body count on record for a Slow Horses season premiere, the potential future victims feel like higher-value assets than they’ve risked before.

Speaking of victims, isn’t it interesting that Taverner plays the smug villain of the Park database shenanigans but can’t hold it together when she learns the money she took off Judd wasn’t his?

(Courtesy of Apple TV)

Knowing that Slow Horses Season 6 is based on not one, but two of Mick Herron’s Slough House novels, we can assume that we’re not watching a war on two fronts but two separate conflicts converging.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

What are you looking forward to most, Fanatics? Fighting terrorists? Thwarting bombings? Noodle slurping? A return of Coe’s punch knife?

Hit our comments with YOUR hit list and rate the episode in the poll below!

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